5 Secrets I've Never Told You About Slow Living

& how to apply them to your every day life

Shhh… I’ve got a secret to tell you. Well, five to be exact.

When someone thinks of slow living, the typical images appear in their mind of a minimalistic, relaxed home filled with long mornings and drawn-out days. While there is so much beauty in that ideal of slow living, the reality is typically a regular life filled with bumps in the road, messy kitchens, and finding joy in the mundane moments in between.

Slow living is as much a mindset to me as it is a lifestyle, and it’s embodying that mindset when life picks up that makes it such a powerful way to live.

So, here are all the things I’ve yet to tell you about slow living…

1. I’m doing more than I did before.

When I tell people I am passionate about slow living, they’ll usually reply with something that implies, “Oh so you’re lazy.” And that is not within the realms of slow living at all. I actually do more than I did before discovering this lifestyle because the things I am doing are so aligned with who I am that I have the fullest expansion of my energy to explore them. Slow living is aligned living. It’s intentional living. It’s purposeful living. Slow living is not lazy living, sitting on the couch all day doing nothing (though resting is absolutely necessary!), or having zero drive to achieve anything. It’s the opposite, actually, because when you are so in tune with your deepest desires of what you want out of life, all the distractions dissipate and the purpose emerges stronger than ever before.

2. Slow living is not about perfectionism.

I do not live slowly all the time. There, I said it. Some days, even weeks, are jam-packed and when I get to the end of it, I think, what the hell was that about?

Then I remember that slow living is a journey. And one that is far from linear. I struggle with boundaries sometimes, or I’ll just get so excited about all the things happening that I overload my plate and pack up our schedule. This definitely happens in the summers. But, once I notice, I’ll either cancel plans (graciously) or I’ll make sure to include bumpers. Bumpers are essentially time before and after the busy time where I schedule absolutely nothing so we have space to regroup, spend focused energy on our family, and get back into our own unique flow of slow living.

3. I actually enjoy saying no.

As a kid, I was so scared to say no to anyone that I would give my mom code words to use if I didn’t want a friend to come over or spend the night so she could be the ‘annoying mom’ and I could stay the cool friend. Nowadays, I actually find joy in saying no because I know the friends that are in my life value how sacred my time is to me, and they feel the same way. The amount of times a friend has texted me saying, “I’m not really feeling social today. Can we reschedule?” And me responding, “Oh good, me too!” happens so often now that it seems second nature.

Fun fact: this typically happens based on our respective menstrual cycles too. I love getting together with friends while I’m in my follicular phase, but once that luteal phase hits its voice notes and thoughtful messages only, please.

The thing is that once we plant those healthy boundaries in our life, our friends and (and sometimes family, though that’s harder) will meet them. It’s our job to uphold them so that those around us know what to expect and therefore respect us for it. I definitely don’t recommend being flaky or never getting together with anyone, but figuring out what works best for you, communicating it well, and flexing your no muscle can be really helpful when establishing slower rhythms in your life.

4. There’s a consumerist side to slow living that can get messy.

We’ve all seen it online; the perfectly manicured beige living room with minimalist accents. It’s this ideal of slow living that we all want to be apart of. But here’s the thing, slow living is more about what’s on the inside than anything on the outside. You don’t need to go out and buy all new furniture and get rid of what you currently have to live slowly. You don’t need to suddenly switch all your kids toys to wood. You don’t need that ideal kitchen with the perfect lack of appliances and white cabinets to be a part of the club. Slow living isn’t a club, and that’s what attracted it to me the most.

When we apply titles or put ourselves in a box based on a label, it can be easy to feel like there needs to be rules in place to keep yourself accountable. I encourage you to let go of that masculine energy of needing organization and instead tune into the feminine energy of feeling. Ask yourself, “how does living slowly FEEL to me? And how can I lean into that feeling more each and every day?”.

5. You can start living slow today.

You don’t need to buy anyone’s course or a library full of books on slow living, you don’t need to re-organize your entire house or cancel all your plans for the next month. You just need to start finding the pockets in your day where you can slow down. When you make your coffee or tea in the morning, instead of immediately rushing out the door try taking a sip and think about how grateful you are for that delicious hit of caffeine. Rather than always having an agenda, try taking your family out for a walk just to walk. It doesn’t matter how many times your toddler stops or how many times you get derailed from ‘the plan’, just be in the moment. Next time you’re eating a meal out and your partner goes to the restroom, don’t immediately reach for your phone. Instead just sit with yourself and see how that feels.

This is slow living. And once you start making those simple choices in your every day to be more present, you will begin hearing the whispers of your soul telling you what slow living looks like to you. You don’t need anything outside of yourself to begin living a life in alignment with your values and your intentions, and you can start right now in this moment. Look, you’ve just read this entire post!

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There you go, five “secrets” I’ve been keeping from you about what slow living truly is. And maybe for you, it will be completely different. But that’s the point. Slow living isn’t a dogmatic approach to life, it’s a concept to be weaved into the threads of your every day and therefore make magic from that place. I’d love to know what slow living looks like (and feels like) to you.

I can’t wait to see how you flourish.