Practicing What I Preach

When slow living is the teacher I don't want, but need...

Hi there! I’m Hunter. I’m a mother of a two-year-old daughter, married to my British husband, and we live in Northwest Florida along the beautiful white, sandy beaches. I share about sacred & slow living as well as my personal journey in being a mother and a creative. Make sure to subscribe to have my posts delivered directly to your inbox. I’m so glad you’re here.

It’s January 4th, and as I’m writing this I have spent the past few days only receiving “ins and outs,” “resolutions,” and “jump-start new year” posts, shares, and emails, and I am about to combust.

In the past, I have loved the energy that the new year brings. But for some reason, this year, it has felt like an anxiety-inducing dredge I’m just trying to survive through. No, I don’t want to make a list of goals for 2024. No, I don’t want to talk about what I want more of or less of in the upcoming year. I honestly just want to sleep. And maybe journal a bit. Reflect on 2023 and sit with the big feelings I’ve had throughout the past year.

I am hibernating, feeling disconnected, and not desiring to “show up” in the world right now. This has to do with a lot of things, I’m sure. My grandfather died a few weeks ago, it’s been a hard six months of mothering for me, work has been a rollercoaster, and life is a bit all over the place. So I got to the end of the year and instead of saying, “hell yes bring on 2024!” I cried, “I need quiet space.”

And I realized something in that moment, that if I tried to push through as I probably would have in the past, I’d be living out of alignment with the person I say I am today.

In January 2023, I started this Substack publication and posted almost every single week (usually multiple times a week) for almost a year now. (Speaking of, my first year on Substack post will be up at the end of the month!) I have written about slow living, intentional motherhood, sacred spirituality, and creativity for almost 12 months. I have been embodying most of these concepts actively since 2018.

There’s a power that comes when you speak your values aloud, and it’s that you can no longer hide behind someone that you are not. I can’t preach about intentional living and then not be intentional with the way I’m living. I can’t talk about seasonal shifts and not embrace the seasons within myself. I can no longer live a life that isn’t true to my soul. That’s what happens when you speak your truth, is that you are called to live up to that truth, and sometimes it feels like a heavy burden to bear.

So when I see all the Instagram posts and Substack shares about New Year, New Me, or all the holiday things and feel the imposter syndrome kick in my inner voice screams at me saying, “You aren’t keeping up! You’re going to get left behind! You’re going to miss out on an opportunity!” Then, I can dig deep and remember that if I don’t listen to what my body is telling me, which is to slow the f*ck down, then I am not actually living authentically. And I believe that even in this world called the Internet, people can pick up on who is real and who isn’t.

By the way, I love that everyone is sharing so much blank slate/goals-oriented content right now if that’s in alignment with them! It’s so inspiring to see. It’s just also been triggering for me and my own process of slowing down and I thought I would share that real & raw with you.

Through the new year’s haze, I did see a post (actually three) about recognizing that winter is a time for hibernation, for quiet space to reflect, and that the “new year” doesn’t really start until the spring equinox in March. So I’ve been trying to take the pressure off and lean into the grounding energy that winter brings, and when I allowed that truth to be my truth for this year, I felt a giant weight lift off my shoulders and an inner knowing that I am doing the right thing.

Sometimes, what is right for us goes against the grain of what everyone else is doing. I know for most of my own life I’ve beat myself up over doing things differently, or feeling left out and behind. But I’m beginning to realize that life actually starts when we do what is best for our individual selves. In the midst of hard things, I’ve also accomplished a lot of beautiful things in the past year, and choosing to sit with that for a while longer is absolutely okay, even great for me.

So, if you’re feeling like you need to “keep up” or “push through,” let this be your permission slip to stop. Slow down. Sit with your own thoughts for awhile, and trust that wherever you are and whatever energy you are feeling is exactly right for you. I love to picture my slowing down times as a slingshot. I’m pulling back, inward, and getting stronger so that I can release and shoot off in the perfectly right direction at the perfectly right time.

Go slow to go fast, and watch as life unfolds exactly as it’s meant to.