The Magic Found in Romanticizing Your Life

& why I'm so tired of my own shadow...

Hi there! I’m Hunter. I’m a mother of a two-year-old daughter, married to my British husband, and we live in Northwest Florida along the beautiful white, sandy beaches. I share about sacred & slow living as well as my own personal journey in being a mother and a creative. Make sure to subscribe to have my posts delivered directly to your inbox. I’m so glad you’re here.

“There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle.” – Albert Einstein

I have decided that I am tired of listening to myself complain. Life is hard, for all of us, and after a particularly grueling week where I hurled around quite a few complaints, I was done with it. I’d had enough of my own shadow, so to speak. I miss the magic that can be found in romanticizing life. And for me, it was easy when life felt easy. But then, I had a difficult week (month, year, let’s be honest) and my whole notion of making those simple days extraordinary by being ordinary became a distant memory.

Through that process, I forgot what it means to find magical moments in the every day. To be grateful for what is right in front of us rather than what’s behind or ahead. I stopped appreciating the little things, like the sound my tea kettle makes right before it reaches a boil. The little footsteps I hear and knowing that I’m about to get a leg hug from my toddler. The tender way it feels to brush my own hair, and be grateful for how long it’s been able to get. The intimacy with my husband when we lock eyes across the room and are totally thinking the same thing. The sound of the birds outside our window each morning. The way my daughter looks at the world around her for at least thirty minutes after she wakes up from her nap each day. The excitement I feel getting into the car knowing I’ll have a good twenty minutes to listen to my podcast. The joy when spending time with my mom and there’s nowhere to be but with each other. The long talks on the phone with my sister who lives in another state. The sound of the waves when I take time to walk down to the gulf. The laughter from the house next door when I’m letting our dog out back. The way my husband can make my daughter’s eyes light up in a way no one else ever can, or will. The warmth I feel when she’s snuggled up against me, safely asleep in my arms.

“Learn to appreciate small quiet moments, the ocean, a walk on the beach, time alone, your health, your strength, your smile, your life.” – Germany Kent

It’s so easy to spend our days going through the motions and living in survival mode. It feels simpler even to dwell on the hard stuff. To find more things we’re unhappy with to focus on. It feels much more difficult to look for the good. To search for the joy, the little magic moments, the mundane yet extraordinary experiences. That feels challenging, impossible even. But what I’m learning is that once I get through the hard part of refocusing myself, I feel so much better. I’m clearer, open-minded, ready for whatever comes next. It’s like I’m building an invisible armor where I can handle more thrown at me because my insides are strong. Whereas when I’m expecting the next bad thing to happen, I have nothing to shield myself from when it hits.

It can be addictive, even, to focus on the bad. I got really obsessed with the law of attraction when I was younger, the concept that everything I focused on would expand. I was so scared to think of any negative thoughts, or if something difficult happened to me, I would blame it on myself, like I caused it. Over the years, I’ve begun to reframe that mindset and realize that both good and bad things are happening all the time. It’s what we choose to focus on in the moment that we create more of. It’s not that the bad things aren’t there, but they feel a lot easier to handle when we are in the right headspace and searching for the good. I’ve also learned that hard doesn’t mean bad, and things that have been hard in my life have yielded the most growth and joy (hello, childbirth).

The easiest and most simple way I’ve found to start is by romanticizing my daily life. Finding joy in the little things, those things you normally take advantage of. I can be the first person to raise my hand here and say it’s easier said than done, but I know that when I consciously focus on finding those tiny moments, they make a massive difference in the quality of my life.

The best way to start doing this is by just taking note. Open up the notes app on your phone and write at the top, “Romantic Moments” then begin writing each down. It could be something as simple as the way the light streams in through your bedroom window when you first wake up to something big like getting a raise at work or celebrating a loved one in some way. But really focus on the little ones, because those are the ones that are hardest to see yet make the biggest impact. Maybe someone smiled at you from their car, or a ladybug landed on your hand, or you felt accomplished because you remembered to water your flowers, or your latte tasted really good this morning, or your kid asked you to read the same book for the hundredth time but you found a little drawing in the corner that you hadn’t noticed before, or you decided to walk somewhere instead of drive because the weather was nice, or the weather was rainy and you loved the sound of the thunder.

“The small things of life were often so much bigger than the great things . . . the trivial pleasure like cooking, one's home, little poems especially sad ones, solitary walks, funny things seen and overheard.” – Barbara Pym

The goal is to begin noticing. That’s all. And after time, see how it shifts your perspective on life.

I’m going to try to shift my perspective and remember that life is happening whether I’m happy or sad, frustrated or patient, excited or scared. It’s all about how I meet the moments, and which lens of my life I choose to see them through.