I love it when mums normalise our relationships with our little ones. LJ have co-slept since day one and that’s me just wrapping up nursing on demand 1000 days in. Grateful for it all and exhausted. Holding steady for the next stage. The photos are just too precious, take even more than you think you want! Cx ✨
I love it too! Makes me feel so much less alone. That's so beautiful, 1000 days! How incredible. You did such a good job, mama. I hope you (and your boobs!) can get some rest. How did it go while you were in London?
I already wish I had taken more pictures! Most are of me in the dark pumping hahaha
😂 it’s the little hand popping up from their cradle position for me 🥺🥺🥺 heading home tomorrow... wish me luck!! Have missed her beyond belief but I’ve also moisturised, painted my nails and written a tonne. ✨🙏
Aw yes! Since Maverick has started her nights on the floor bed, I wake up startled at 2am to her face like 3 inches from mine just staring like, "how dare you let me sleep down here while you're in the comfy big bed" 😂 It cracks me up.
Aww good luck!! So glad you had some time for yourself though, that's very needed too!
This was a beautiful read and it's made me feel less alone too - I still co-sleep with my 16 month old and feed him on demand through the night. I'm holding him now as I write this actually! But I often feel like he should be night weaned by now or in his own cot (mainly because other people tell me so) but the truth is I love him still needing me like this. OK, maybe I don't love it so much when he's up for hours, but in general I'm happy with it. He's my third and last child so I'm just soaking it all up knowing that I won't have these days for much longer.
That's so beautiful, Jenna. Exactly, it's like this constant battle between what you think you should be doing vs what your heart is saying. I think listening to our motherly intuition is the most powerful of all. Especially with him being your last, soak up all these moments!! As hard as it is, I also know I am going to miss it dearly when she's grown. Sending you love!! Xx
Thank you ❤️. You are so right, allowing ourselves to follow our intuition just feels right doesn't it. I didnt trust my intuition with my eldest two kids as much and I was constantly looking for advice. Then when I followed it, it never felt good. Makes me feel sad now thinking that I didn't trust myself, but that's motherhood isn't it, learning and growing all the time. Yes, I will miss it so much too, enjoy those cuddles ♥️ . Sending love too xx
There have definitely been so many times that I wish I would have trusted my intuition more. It's part of the reason I want to do it all again, so I can lean into what feels right for me and speak from that space. I think because she was a bit of a surprise (okay a total surprise haha), I just kind of went with whatever and didn't feel rooted in any specific belief because I hadn't really thought about my pregnancy and birth too much, thinking that part of my life was still a few years away. But I believe she must have wanted to be here at this specific moment in time for some reason, and I trust that it unfolded as it was meant to.
It's hard isn't it, because there's so much parenting advice out there, and opinions too. The noise of that is so loud it's hard to tap into your intuition. Yes, I totally get that about wanting to do it all again and do it differently. I definitely felt that with my 3rd child, and I feel like a different mum to the mum I was with my eldest two. That's so lovely that your daughter was a surprise and hearing how that helped you go with the flow too, the best way I think! Absolutely, learning and growing alongside the kids all the time. X
You’re doing a wonderful job. I co-slept with my first who continued to wake and feed until she was at least 18 months. Her baby brother sleeps slightly more, he just has different needs, but I’ll continue to follow his lead. I’m in the very early stages and some nights are incredibly hard, and others I just gaze at him and it feels like we’re the only two people in the world. Do what feels most natural to you 🥰
Thank you so much, Sarah. I'm so curious to see how sleep goes if we have another child. I think especially with the first, you're just trying whatever feels right at the time haha.
Sending you love for those early newborn days (and nights!), it's so hard. But also so magical.
Such beautiful words lovely, I am reading this as V is asleep on me before I attempt a transfer to her cot for hopefully a couple of hours before she is in bed with me again! I am savouring the moments and love that my body being close can make her feel safe enough to fall asleep. You are an incredible Mana, she is a lucky little one. Xxx
Thank you so much, Lauren. Enjoy those sweet snuggles while you have them! It's just so special even when it's hard. Your little ones are so so lucky, too! Sending love!
Yes. This has me remembering 12+ years ago. I look back and I remember how hard it was for us both. I had adrenal fatigue/insufficiency and didn't know it.
Weaning was a bumpy road. My husband was so supportive (like yours) and he would remind me, 'he won't be on a bottle when he's ten', 'he won't be in diapers when he's driving a car' and I would picture my 16yr old son refusing to potty train and grabbing the keys and his girlfriend for a night out. And I would laugh so hard at this absurd thought.
And then cry because I wasn't sue how to get from A to B. He sucked a pacifier until he was about 3yrs old. My mom told me he would have a speech impediment from it but he would shift his paci to the corner of his mouth like a cigar and talk in full sentences.
I think these years are the hardest for weaning. The other moments like 1st day of school, 1st weekend away from mama, 1st dance, 1st school trip out of town, they become a bit easier because we have trained them for these moments.
The toddler years can be so confusing for everyone. Hang in there mama, you are doing amazing. And she won't be sleeping in your room when she is 16. Lol
I just laughed out loud picturing her grabbing her paci at 16 before walking out the door for a date 😂 I needed that, hahah thank you!
You're so right. Yeah I've already had multiple people tell me she needs to get rid of the paci soon. And she's still not talking so that plays into it even more, which is hard. But we're figuring it out. She communicates in her own way and is very very clear about what she wants, so to me that's what matters right now. I never expected weaning to be such a challenging road, but for us it is and I'm just trying to go with it. Thank you for this beautiful (and funny) reminder that it will all pass. Xx
Beautiful post & I so relate. My son is 19 months and still wakes up most nights for milk, cuddles or comfort when teething. It’s exhausting, but I also love it and know I’ll miss the sweet middle of the night cuddles when they’re gone.
This post was a hard relate. I feel you on the exhaustion and the reticence to sleep train. My youngest is 22 months and still doesn’t sleep through. And still breastfeeds at night when he wakes a couple of times. We’re trying to work out ways to lessen it, but our approach is still very softly softly. I know these nights shall pass eventually. Sending solidarity in the meantime.
Aw yes, our babies are the same age then. I'm hoping she's just going to grow out of the milk? Who knows haha I've practically watered her bottles down to straight water but she still cries for them if she wakes up. Just trial and error I guess! Sending you solidarity too, thank you for commenting!
So beautiful! And yes this all resonates deeply. Co-sleeping has been the most wonderful and natural choice for us (though I hadn’t really considered it before becoming a parent). My daughter was the ultimate velcro/orchid baby and did not sleep at all unless she was in constant contact for a long time. I have also bed shared with my son from day 1 (whilst my husband slept with my daughter) and now they both start on their own floor beds and they end up sleeping next to me for most of the night. I can’t really imagine it any other way, it has been a formative part of motherhood for me and I always think if I was living in the wild, I would want my babies wrapped up close to me! For the most part it works and is the sweetest thing (though of course it adds a further layer to the physicality and all-consuming nature of mothering).
Night-weaning with love is a whole other topic I could go into! I still feed my son during the day but night-weaned very recently around 19 months, though it was a real ‘journey’, overall have found it empowering to provide comfort in other ways.
I love how you are so in tune with your daughter’s needs. Keep doing what you’re doing and trust what feels right to you xx
Thank you so much for this, Lyndsay. I love that you've continued co-sleeping with both babies, how beautiful! You're so right about being in the wild. When I think about Maverick sleeping in another room, it just makes me so anxious. The few times when she was really little when I tried to start her off in the crib, I just couldn't even go to sleep and would watch the monitor the entire time. It felt completely unnatural to me.
I'd love to hear about your night-weaning journey if you're comfortable sharing! It's definitely something I want to do, just as softly as possible. Which maybe isn't possible? I don't know haha
Yes of course, I am happy to share. I am all for soft and gentle as possible and I learnt a lot from Emma Pickett IBCLC (who specialises in weaning, def check out her Instagram) about allowing and validating their feelings/anger about the change. I fell into night weaning this time as I decided I would try to settle my son another way in the early evenings when he woke and I was still up, rather than automatically feeding/milk. (Having said that, I had gradually started to bring in more things at bedtime, regular books and bedtime songs etc., but was ultimately still feeding to sleep). He was not happy about the change for three nights (same with my daughter two years ago) but I held him, let him know I knew how hard it was but we were in it together and our relationship wasn’t changing. And when I recited a few lines from the book we had been reading he relaxed and began to fall asleep on my shoulder. I did it gradually and at first would feed him again from a certain time, until gradually we could get to morning. Anyway, it wasn’t easy and there were tears but he was held with love throughout...
Thank you so much for this! It's definitely something I feel like we need to do, I just hate the tears and upset feeling she gets. Even though I know that's totally normal and expected, and that she is still fully supported. Just hard seeing such big emotions from such a little tender human. Thank you again though, you've given me a lot of confidence to give it a go!
It is sooooo hard, I know and I feel you! I thought about it subconsciously (and consciously) for many many months (maybe a year!) before I did anything because of that very reason. Anyway, I hope it has given you hope that it is possible and when you/they are ready (even if they don’t know it yet!) it will feel right x
This was so timely and so appreciated as I struggle nightly with a 2.5 yr old who does not sleep through the night and still wakes up crying for milk. This was the reminder I needed to remember to cherish these moments of her dependence because one day in the distant future I may long for them again.
I'm so glad this resonated with you! I get it, it's really hard. But you're right, it's comforting to know that one day I'll miss it. Even already, pumping for over a year has become such a distant memory whereas when I was in it, it was all-consuming and SO intense.
We co-slept with both of our daughters for the first few years. It was just a natural choice and it worked for our family. Instinctively we know what is best as mamas, don’t we? Keep making those instinctive choices Hunter, you got this! 😘
Thank you so much, Mackenzie. I love that. Exactly, neither of us thought we would co-sleep but as soon as we got home from the hospital, it was the only thing that felt right for us to do. I am so grateful for all these nights with her, even when it's hard.
Love this! Coslept with both of mine until oldest was 5 and younger was 3. Second baby nursed on demand every 40 minutes in the night until she was 2 heh. Seed and Sleep on Instagram was a game changer for supporting our transition away from night nursing, but I LOVE cosleeping and miss it. But the sensory hell of double toddler wiggles in the bed was not worth the impact of shit sleep on my mood the next day, and also now I get to have sex every night so 😂🤷🏻♀️
My youngest turned 2 in July and we're still cosleeping and have been every night since he was born. It's hard, but it's what feels right. My 4 year old still falls asleep in my bed and/or climbs in in the morning sometimes, and I love it.
My sister and I actually took turns in the mornings with my mom when I was in high school (after years of not cosleeping) and it added such peace to our before-school routines.
Also, it's biologically normal for babies and kids to continue to wake in the night and want nourishment. Even adults do sometimes! There are so many "shoulds" of parenthood that are just completely made up and antithetical to our actual needs. You're doing great. 💕
I love it when mums normalise our relationships with our little ones. LJ have co-slept since day one and that’s me just wrapping up nursing on demand 1000 days in. Grateful for it all and exhausted. Holding steady for the next stage. The photos are just too precious, take even more than you think you want! Cx ✨
I love it too! Makes me feel so much less alone. That's so beautiful, 1000 days! How incredible. You did such a good job, mama. I hope you (and your boobs!) can get some rest. How did it go while you were in London?
I already wish I had taken more pictures! Most are of me in the dark pumping hahaha
😂 it’s the little hand popping up from their cradle position for me 🥺🥺🥺 heading home tomorrow... wish me luck!! Have missed her beyond belief but I’ve also moisturised, painted my nails and written a tonne. ✨🙏
Aw yes! Since Maverick has started her nights on the floor bed, I wake up startled at 2am to her face like 3 inches from mine just staring like, "how dare you let me sleep down here while you're in the comfy big bed" 😂 It cracks me up.
Aww good luck!! So glad you had some time for yourself though, that's very needed too!
The pump! You super star! I thought about bringing it but I think it would have made me too sad. 💕
This was a beautiful read and it's made me feel less alone too - I still co-sleep with my 16 month old and feed him on demand through the night. I'm holding him now as I write this actually! But I often feel like he should be night weaned by now or in his own cot (mainly because other people tell me so) but the truth is I love him still needing me like this. OK, maybe I don't love it so much when he's up for hours, but in general I'm happy with it. He's my third and last child so I'm just soaking it all up knowing that I won't have these days for much longer.
That's so beautiful, Jenna. Exactly, it's like this constant battle between what you think you should be doing vs what your heart is saying. I think listening to our motherly intuition is the most powerful of all. Especially with him being your last, soak up all these moments!! As hard as it is, I also know I am going to miss it dearly when she's grown. Sending you love!! Xx
Thank you ❤️. You are so right, allowing ourselves to follow our intuition just feels right doesn't it. I didnt trust my intuition with my eldest two kids as much and I was constantly looking for advice. Then when I followed it, it never felt good. Makes me feel sad now thinking that I didn't trust myself, but that's motherhood isn't it, learning and growing all the time. Yes, I will miss it so much too, enjoy those cuddles ♥️ . Sending love too xx
There have definitely been so many times that I wish I would have trusted my intuition more. It's part of the reason I want to do it all again, so I can lean into what feels right for me and speak from that space. I think because she was a bit of a surprise (okay a total surprise haha), I just kind of went with whatever and didn't feel rooted in any specific belief because I hadn't really thought about my pregnancy and birth too much, thinking that part of my life was still a few years away. But I believe she must have wanted to be here at this specific moment in time for some reason, and I trust that it unfolded as it was meant to.
Absolutely just learning and growing every day!
It's hard isn't it, because there's so much parenting advice out there, and opinions too. The noise of that is so loud it's hard to tap into your intuition. Yes, I totally get that about wanting to do it all again and do it differently. I definitely felt that with my 3rd child, and I feel like a different mum to the mum I was with my eldest two. That's so lovely that your daughter was a surprise and hearing how that helped you go with the flow too, the best way I think! Absolutely, learning and growing alongside the kids all the time. X
There really is so much coming at you pretty much as soon as you announce you're pregnant.
I love that you got to have a beautiful experience for your 3rd, and I bet that was wonderful to model for your older two.
She really did help me go with the flow, which isn't my typical mode! Haha so I'm grateful! Kids are incredible teachers.
You’re doing a wonderful job. I co-slept with my first who continued to wake and feed until she was at least 18 months. Her baby brother sleeps slightly more, he just has different needs, but I’ll continue to follow his lead. I’m in the very early stages and some nights are incredibly hard, and others I just gaze at him and it feels like we’re the only two people in the world. Do what feels most natural to you 🥰
Thank you so much, Sarah. I'm so curious to see how sleep goes if we have another child. I think especially with the first, you're just trying whatever feels right at the time haha.
Sending you love for those early newborn days (and nights!), it's so hard. But also so magical.
Thank you for your sweet comment. Xx
Such beautiful words lovely, I am reading this as V is asleep on me before I attempt a transfer to her cot for hopefully a couple of hours before she is in bed with me again! I am savouring the moments and love that my body being close can make her feel safe enough to fall asleep. You are an incredible Mana, she is a lucky little one. Xxx
Thank you so much, Lauren. Enjoy those sweet snuggles while you have them! It's just so special even when it's hard. Your little ones are so so lucky, too! Sending love!
Yes. This has me remembering 12+ years ago. I look back and I remember how hard it was for us both. I had adrenal fatigue/insufficiency and didn't know it.
Weaning was a bumpy road. My husband was so supportive (like yours) and he would remind me, 'he won't be on a bottle when he's ten', 'he won't be in diapers when he's driving a car' and I would picture my 16yr old son refusing to potty train and grabbing the keys and his girlfriend for a night out. And I would laugh so hard at this absurd thought.
And then cry because I wasn't sue how to get from A to B. He sucked a pacifier until he was about 3yrs old. My mom told me he would have a speech impediment from it but he would shift his paci to the corner of his mouth like a cigar and talk in full sentences.
I think these years are the hardest for weaning. The other moments like 1st day of school, 1st weekend away from mama, 1st dance, 1st school trip out of town, they become a bit easier because we have trained them for these moments.
The toddler years can be so confusing for everyone. Hang in there mama, you are doing amazing. And she won't be sleeping in your room when she is 16. Lol
I just laughed out loud picturing her grabbing her paci at 16 before walking out the door for a date 😂 I needed that, hahah thank you!
You're so right. Yeah I've already had multiple people tell me she needs to get rid of the paci soon. And she's still not talking so that plays into it even more, which is hard. But we're figuring it out. She communicates in her own way and is very very clear about what she wants, so to me that's what matters right now. I never expected weaning to be such a challenging road, but for us it is and I'm just trying to go with it. Thank you for this beautiful (and funny) reminder that it will all pass. Xx
They may not be in your bed or nursing in their teens but it is not the end of sleepless nights.
Oh I believe it!! I guess I'm in for a lifetime of sleepless nights now 😂
Beautiful post & I so relate. My son is 19 months and still wakes up most nights for milk, cuddles or comfort when teething. It’s exhausting, but I also love it and know I’ll miss the sweet middle of the night cuddles when they’re gone.
I feel this so deeply, Lauren! I'm right there with you, balancing the wishing it would end with never wanting it to end!
This post was a hard relate. I feel you on the exhaustion and the reticence to sleep train. My youngest is 22 months and still doesn’t sleep through. And still breastfeeds at night when he wakes a couple of times. We’re trying to work out ways to lessen it, but our approach is still very softly softly. I know these nights shall pass eventually. Sending solidarity in the meantime.
Aw yes, our babies are the same age then. I'm hoping she's just going to grow out of the milk? Who knows haha I've practically watered her bottles down to straight water but she still cries for them if she wakes up. Just trial and error I guess! Sending you solidarity too, thank you for commenting!
So beautiful! And yes this all resonates deeply. Co-sleeping has been the most wonderful and natural choice for us (though I hadn’t really considered it before becoming a parent). My daughter was the ultimate velcro/orchid baby and did not sleep at all unless she was in constant contact for a long time. I have also bed shared with my son from day 1 (whilst my husband slept with my daughter) and now they both start on their own floor beds and they end up sleeping next to me for most of the night. I can’t really imagine it any other way, it has been a formative part of motherhood for me and I always think if I was living in the wild, I would want my babies wrapped up close to me! For the most part it works and is the sweetest thing (though of course it adds a further layer to the physicality and all-consuming nature of mothering).
Night-weaning with love is a whole other topic I could go into! I still feed my son during the day but night-weaned very recently around 19 months, though it was a real ‘journey’, overall have found it empowering to provide comfort in other ways.
I love how you are so in tune with your daughter’s needs. Keep doing what you’re doing and trust what feels right to you xx
Thank you so much for this, Lyndsay. I love that you've continued co-sleeping with both babies, how beautiful! You're so right about being in the wild. When I think about Maverick sleeping in another room, it just makes me so anxious. The few times when she was really little when I tried to start her off in the crib, I just couldn't even go to sleep and would watch the monitor the entire time. It felt completely unnatural to me.
I'd love to hear about your night-weaning journey if you're comfortable sharing! It's definitely something I want to do, just as softly as possible. Which maybe isn't possible? I don't know haha
Thank you for your sweet comment!!
Yes of course, I am happy to share. I am all for soft and gentle as possible and I learnt a lot from Emma Pickett IBCLC (who specialises in weaning, def check out her Instagram) about allowing and validating their feelings/anger about the change. I fell into night weaning this time as I decided I would try to settle my son another way in the early evenings when he woke and I was still up, rather than automatically feeding/milk. (Having said that, I had gradually started to bring in more things at bedtime, regular books and bedtime songs etc., but was ultimately still feeding to sleep). He was not happy about the change for three nights (same with my daughter two years ago) but I held him, let him know I knew how hard it was but we were in it together and our relationship wasn’t changing. And when I recited a few lines from the book we had been reading he relaxed and began to fall asleep on my shoulder. I did it gradually and at first would feed him again from a certain time, until gradually we could get to morning. Anyway, it wasn’t easy and there were tears but he was held with love throughout...
Thank you so much for this! It's definitely something I feel like we need to do, I just hate the tears and upset feeling she gets. Even though I know that's totally normal and expected, and that she is still fully supported. Just hard seeing such big emotions from such a little tender human. Thank you again though, you've given me a lot of confidence to give it a go!
It is sooooo hard, I know and I feel you! I thought about it subconsciously (and consciously) for many many months (maybe a year!) before I did anything because of that very reason. Anyway, I hope it has given you hope that it is possible and when you/they are ready (even if they don’t know it yet!) it will feel right x
This was so timely and so appreciated as I struggle nightly with a 2.5 yr old who does not sleep through the night and still wakes up crying for milk. This was the reminder I needed to remember to cherish these moments of her dependence because one day in the distant future I may long for them again.
I'm so glad this resonated with you! I get it, it's really hard. But you're right, it's comforting to know that one day I'll miss it. Even already, pumping for over a year has become such a distant memory whereas when I was in it, it was all-consuming and SO intense.
Beautiful heartfelt post Hunter 💗
We co-slept with both of our daughters for the first few years. It was just a natural choice and it worked for our family. Instinctively we know what is best as mamas, don’t we? Keep making those instinctive choices Hunter, you got this! 😘
Thank you so much, Mackenzie. I love that. Exactly, neither of us thought we would co-sleep but as soon as we got home from the hospital, it was the only thing that felt right for us to do. I am so grateful for all these nights with her, even when it's hard.
Thank you for your comment!
Beautiful ❤️ brings back so many memories with my three!
It's like we're in a time warp in these years, but I don't want to miss a moment!
Yes exactly! ❤️
Love this! Coslept with both of mine until oldest was 5 and younger was 3. Second baby nursed on demand every 40 minutes in the night until she was 2 heh. Seed and Sleep on Instagram was a game changer for supporting our transition away from night nursing, but I LOVE cosleeping and miss it. But the sensory hell of double toddler wiggles in the bed was not worth the impact of shit sleep on my mood the next day, and also now I get to have sex every night so 😂🤷🏻♀️
Still night feeding my 11 month old and was having tremendous guilt over not sleep training him...till now. Thanks for the honesty and for sharing.
I’m so with you there Mama! Thank you for sharing this precious snippet of your mothering journey ♥️
My youngest turned 2 in July and we're still cosleeping and have been every night since he was born. It's hard, but it's what feels right. My 4 year old still falls asleep in my bed and/or climbs in in the morning sometimes, and I love it.
My sister and I actually took turns in the mornings with my mom when I was in high school (after years of not cosleeping) and it added such peace to our before-school routines.
Also, it's biologically normal for babies and kids to continue to wake in the night and want nourishment. Even adults do sometimes! There are so many "shoulds" of parenthood that are just completely made up and antithetical to our actual needs. You're doing great. 💕